Button-Pushing Monkey

Like George Jetson.  But not.

This Woman.

I have no idea who she is.  She appears in yet another stock photo.  This demonstrates quite clearly that when the people who designed this template were designing this template, they had access to more than just pictures of birds.  

If you're from the UK, you might think this is also a picture of a "bird", but that's because "bird" is sometimes used as a slang term in the UK for a woman.

I hope it was actually winter when the person who took this photo took this photo, because if they just made it look like winter and it was actually summer, she probably got quite warm in that jacket.

Here are more pictures.

They are accompanied by humorous comments. 

This woman's makeup exploded.

It's also possible that she's an alien.

Not likely, but possible.

Audio cassettes.

These hold music.  Or sometimes "Oregon Trail".

Computer code.

Programmers sometimes describe different programming languages as "flavors".  

This code appears to be "froot flavored".

A girl in a dress.

I have nothing funny to say here.  I just needed a picture to visually balance the tall picture on the left of this section.

Bridal gowns are froofy.

This is a stock photo of a woman wearing a bridal gown.

I don't think you'll argue that it qualifies as "froofy".

Even if we don't agree on what "froofy" means, since it's not a real word.

But I think we can all agree that it's very definitely "froofy".


Here are some pictures.

Have I mentioned yet that I've placed many stock photos on this page? 

Because I have.

Audio board

Moving the sliders up and down causes the small animals stored inside to cry out in pain.  
When done by an expert, this creates Nickelback music.
When done by an amateur, it creates Justin Bieber music.

Automobile controls

Pressing the red triangle at the top opens the small slot to reveal a cassette player.  
If you insert the correct cassette, the speedometer will play "Oregon Trail".

Business Hippo

Because apparently hippos wear pants without shirts.  The book the hippo is carrying is labeled "Top Secret".  
I don't know what hippos need to keep secret.  
Perhaps what they're keeping secret is the secret of why they need to keep things secret.

Porn?

I guess this is supposed to be an image of Internet porn?  
I own an iPad, and I've never gotten holographic scantily-clad women to emerge from it.  
Only a holographic scantily-clad hippo, but that was made top secret.

Amazon in Japan

This is one of the Japanese Transformers.  
It's an Autobot named Optimus Prime Shipping.  It transforms into a box.  
It has just killed a new Decepticon robot which was able to transform into a Valentine's Day card.

Blackberry

These were once the most sought-after cellular phones in the world.  Now they're a punchline.  As in the following joke:

Q: How many lava robots does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Blackberry.

This computer is ironic.

The screen of this computer displays the text "Do More."  

Judging by the lack of anything on the desk aside from a keyboard, trackpad, never-opened Apple earbuds, and a stylus for a Wacom tablet that isn't even there, it doesn't look like anyone's ever done anything on this computer.  Except change the wallpaper to "Do More."

Maybe someone could pour that water into the plant?

Fun Facts

Here's something you may not know.


Ducks hate baths
Fish prefer the water
Doctors recommend an Apple
Kids believe in Santa

More Fun Facts

The "Fun Facts" above are the default placeholder text.  These are not.
Percentage of the Fun Facts above that
are pure
bullshit.
True statements in this section thus far
Doctors recommend Windows
If the above was on a license plate, it would say "Tennis, anyone?"

Here are some more stock photos.

  • Robot vs. Astronaut
    They're about to throw down.
    The robot just stole the astronaut's girlfriend, so the astronaut challenged the robot to a duel.

    In space.
    Available on PPV
  • Counting
    It can be hard.
    This woman is demonstrating the proper way to count to eleven.
    See, you don't know any more than that.
  • Seriously
    It's not hard.
    This is an artist's representation of what using Twitter on a phone looks like.
    Have you never seen an actual phone in your life, artist?
    This is what his phone looks like.
  • Grumpy Knight
    Cheer up, knight.
    This is a knight who is grumpy.

    Perhaps because he's got great hair, but you can't see it under the chain mail.
    Also, perhaps he has gas.

Say hello!

Hello.  

I didn't want to say hello, but that's what the caption read when I started customizing this template for my use.  I wasn't sure if it was a placeholder or a direction.

(555) 555-5555
This is placeholder text for a phone number.

It's the single most made-up looking phone number in existence.